Present absence…

A word that popped up in my mind and stayed with me.

I relate it to the impact I have felt for things and relationships that were, yet never were.

Such contradictions of life.

I grieve over a relationship I wish I had.

Of a closeness, intimacy, and trust that I dreamt of, but never lived

I feel the absence of all this, in the present.

The sorrow of an undead relationship.

Living, but not. Unalive.

The intense hollowness of a present absence.